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Below is a test that all wives should take.

Write down your answers on a piece of paper and check them with the answer key at the bottom. This is a highly scientific test, so make sure to pay very close attention to the questions and answer them to the best of your ability.

 

 
   
 
   

 

  1. When my husband is watching television, I should:
    1. Vacuum the room
    2. Go out and buy some jewelry
    3. Wait until a commercial to speak

 

  1. When at a store, I should:
    1. Always buy the least expensive item
    2. Get approval and instruction before leaving to purchase anything
    3. Find an electronics store and buy my husband a new big screen plasma TV

     

  1. If my dress is too tight, I should:
    1. Immediately step up my exercise routine
    2. Buy a new one
    3. Suck in my stomach

     

  1. My husband is:
    1. My partner who should love and respect my feelings and emotions
    2. My best friend
    3. Head of the house and to be respected at all times

     

  2. If I’m in a bad mood, I should:
    1. Talk to my husband and have him understand why I’m feeling sad
    2. Shut up and stop feeling bad
    3. Find a good psychologist, no matter what the cost

     

  1. If I catch my husband looking at another woman, I should:
    1. Ignore it, but talk to him later about it
    2. Beat the living daylights out of the woman
    3. Go ask the woman if she’d like to join you and your husband for a drink
     

     

  1. My husband’s friends are:
    1. The biggest help to my marriage and my happiness
    2. Fat, drunken slobs
    3. Dirty old men

     

  1. If my husband is unhappy, I should:
    1. Give him a back massage
    2. Go out with my friends
    3. Tell him to stop being such a pain

     

  1. Running errands are:
    1. A joint responsibility for my husband and I, we should both do our share
    2. Not fun
    3. My responsibility alone

     

  1. If my husband passes gas, I should:
    1. Fire one back
    2. Buy him a laxative
    3. Ignore it

     

  2. If my husband forgets our anniversary, I should:
    1. Never bring it up
    2. Remind him politely
    3. Divorce him

  

 

  1. If we run out of beer the day after I buy 5 cases of it, I should:
    1. Set up an intervention
    2. Pick some more up the next day
    3. Apologize to my husband and run out immediately for more

 

  1. If my husband buys a new $50,000 sports car without telling me first, I should:
    1. Go out and buy myself a new car
    2. Confront him and find out why he would do such a thing without so much as even discussing with me first
    3. Be thankful he loves you enough to get a nice car that you can ride in when you go out together

     

  1. Our kids are:
    1. My pride and joy
    2. A great gift from my husband
    3. Juvenile delinquents

 

  1. When at the beauty salon, my hair stylist suggest I cut my hair shorter and dye it another color, I should:
    1. Take her professional advice and give it a shot
    2. Wait to ask my husband first
    3. Only consider it if it doesn’t cost too much

  

  1. My husband leaves the toilet seat up all the time, I should:
    1. Shut up about it and never bring it to his attention
    2. Calmly ask him to leave it down for me
    3. Slam the seat down and scream and yell at my husband for being such an insensitive jerk

 

  1. The dog just took a dump on the living room carpet, I should:
    1. Kick the dog and tell my husband to get rid of the flea infested creature
    2. Tell my husband to get off his lazy butt and do something about it for once
    3. Clean it up immediately and apologize to my husband for not taking better care of the dog

     

  1. My friend just said some mean things about my husband, I should:
    1. Buy her a copy of Wife School, and if she doesn’t change; never talk to her again
    2. Listen to her advice and bring it up to my husband
    3. Agree, but don’t talk to my husband about it

 

  1. My husband’s friends were over last night and left a huge mess, I should:
    1. Tell my husband to clean up the mess
    2. Talk to his friends and tell them to be more considerate of your home
    3. Clean it up right away and thank his friends for helping you get ahead in your household chores

     

  2.  My husband’s mother said some nasty things to me, I should:
    1. Be thankful she gave me the man who makes my life worthwhile
    2. Confront her
    3. Stop talking to her and let your husband know
 
   

 

Answer Key For The Wife Test

 

1.  C

5.  B

9.  C

13. C

17. C

2.  B

6.  C

10. C

14. B

18. A

3.  A

7.  A

11. A

15. B

19. C

4.  C

8.  A

12. C

16. A

20. A

 

20 correct – A

You are a great wife and are probably one of the happiest women on the planet.  Congratulations on being such a good person!

 

18-19 correct – B

You are a pretty darn good wife and with a little more practice you will be a great wife. You should get a copy of Wife School to complete your training.

 

14-17 correct – C

You are not doing too bad, but you’ve got a considerable amount to learn.  You should order Wife School right away.

 

10-13 correct – D

You are screwing up your marriage and if you do not start practicing the Wife School teachings, you are going to lose your husband and your life will be shattered.

 

9 or less – F

Wow! You must be a mess. You've got a ton of work ahead of you. Get the book, Wife School, and get to work. Right now, you're pathetic.